My Day at Trial: Law & Order Style

Yesterday was a most unusual day for me.  It involved a visit to my alma mater town, a stint on the witness stand, and an unexpected apology.  But let me back up.

Context:
A little over a year ago my house in College Station was robbed.  Twice.  Within three weeks.  How's that for bad luck?  Essentially everything of value, both monetarily and sentimentally, was taken from me.  I moved out two days after the second time, void of valuables and full of fear.

I think it's important to touch on how big of an impact this had on my life.  The outpouring of help and love I received was overwhelming; the friends that dropped plans and work at a last minute's notice to help me move, the friends who slept on my couch or let me stay with them when I was too scared to be alone, the friend who gave me her brand new iPod because I had lost mine, the friend who just held me while I cried and helped me wash the sheets and clothes they had touched, and the hugs and smiles and 'i love yous' that reminded me that there is good, so much good, in people.  I learned a big lesson on what's important in life. Although I lost some precious things, some gifts that can never be replaced, and some things I really loved, it simply reminded me that my life is so much more than the items I own.  It is the people I surround myself with, the friends family I spent the entirety of college building.

I've spent the last year really trying to focus on the good that came out of this; the lessons I learned, the values I was reminded of, and simply the knowledge that time heals all.  So when I got the call on Friday evening that they had set the trial date for one of the individuals involved in my burglary, you can imagine the mixed emotions that bubbled to the surface.  And then I learned they needed me to testify.

On Tuesday morning, with my mom in tow, I headed down to College Station: apprehensive, a little nervous, and even a bit excited.  I met with the Prosecutor to go over some questions and walk through what the day would look like.  Shortly thereafter the trial began again and I was the first witness called to the stand.  Let me paint a picture for you:

Prosecutor: "The state would like to call it's first witness, Ashley Herring, to the stand."
Me: awkwardly stands, unaware if this is when I make my way to the witness box.  Do you have to be formally invited by the judge to enter the area?!  Apparently not.  The Prosecutor met me at the stand, opened the gate for me, and I sat down.
Judge: "Ms. Herring, can you please raise your right hand? Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"
Me: "I do."
Judge: "Prosecutor, you may proceed."

Law & Order, people.

On the whole, I was on the stand for about an hour.  I went through some preliminary questions about myself, countless details about the incidents, and was questioned on some impact topics.  I was definitely nervous, but it was exciting nonetheless.  After the prosecutor was done questioning me, he passed me to the Defense Attorney.  He asked me even more questions, although not as many, and I was eventually excused.

We were given the option to stay the remainder of the day and we decided to cash in on that.  A few more witnesses were called, for both sides, and eventually the defendant himself took the stand.

It was honestly really hard: hearing them recount the story of my burglary; learning exactly how it had all unfolded.  It was hard sitting there, staring in the face the man who broke into my house, stole my things, and created havoc in my life.  It was hard to not fall back into that feeling of hatred and disgust, and it was hard to finally put a face to the mysterious man who has haunted my nightmares for the past year.

While testifying about being "a changed man" and wanting to jump on the straight and narrow, and at the prompting of his attorney, he declared that, if given the chance, he would like to apologize.  Awkwardly and selfishly enough, the defense attorney responded with: "Well Ms. Herring is still in the court room if you would like to say anything."

::Every head in the court room swiveled to me in the audience::

He proceeded to say he was sorry and can't imagine how I felt and a whole lot of other things that I honestly didn't process because the whole time I kept thinking "this is so unfair."  I've forgiven and tried to forget because that's healthy for me, but I'm not ready to say it's ok.  And I'm definitely not ready to accept a jury-manipulation technique prodded by the defense attorney.  Even if he was being sincere (and, let's be honest, I wasn't getting warm fuzzies from this guy), I feel like he in no way understood the depth to which he should actually be apologizing.  It's so much more than a TV and a GPS.  It was the jewelry my parents gave me for Christmas when I was three, the earrings my mother wore in her wedding, and the sense of security I lost when he and two others entered my home, rifled through my things, and took what wasn't their's.  

I mumbled a quiet "thank you" and was relieved when the trial picked up, again.  Court adjourned for the day at the end of his testimony with closing arguments being the only thing left.  I'm not yet sure what verdict the jury arrived at, or what his sentencing will be, but I do know that I feel comfortable with where I left things.  I feel as though I did my civic duty to keep another thug off the street, and I feel like, albeit hard, I gave myself a little closure to the outlying questions and feelings I had surrounding this case.

Although it brought back a lot of memories I had managed to stuff into dark corners, it was also really healing in a sense knowing that, regardless of what happens, something happened.  Whether it is probation or prison (the state is pushing for the latter), it was hopefully an impacting turning point in this young man's life.  It was certainly a great learning experience for me.

And, hey, how many people can say they've been a witness in a jury-tried case?!  Check that one off the ol' bucket list ;)

So yes, it was a hard day, it was an eventful day, but it was, in hindsight, a really great experience.  And if you made it to the end of this post, props to you - I know it was killer long!